Fifty seven dollars

Fifty-Seven Dollars Round Trip

Verse 1
Kim found herself a bargain,
Pennsylvania bound,
Fifty-seven dollars round trip—
Cheapest flight in town.
She got to ATL real early,
Just to ease her mind,
Make sure Frontier had an airplane,
And the gate was still assigned.

Verse 2
She headed off to Starbucks,
For caffeine and a wait,
Made some friends among the addicts,
Then wandered to the gate.
That’s when she saw the pink thing,
Lying motionless nearby,
Pink blanket, matching luggage—
And Kim just wondered, “Why?”

Pre-Chorus
Maybe special needs?
Maybe somebody’s child?
Maybe just exhausted—
Travel makes us all go wild.
So Kim sat one row away,
Put the mystery behind…
Then came a sound that no one there
Could ever get out of their mind.

Chorus
Ohhhh—fifty-seven dollars round trip!
And the floor show came for free!
Frontier never mentioned
Live entertainment with seat 23B.
You can fly on a budget,
You can pack your bag real light,
But fifty-seven dollars bought Kim
One unforgettable flight!

Verse 3
From underneath that pink blanket
Came a wrenching, awful sound,
The kind that makes a whole gate
Slowly turn around.
She puked and puked and puked some more,
While everybody stared,
And suddenly that Starbucks crowd
Was glad their cups were elsewhere.

Verse 4
Then up rose this slender woman
From her pink cocoon of doom,
Saying, “People, I’m not sick!”
To everybody in the room.
“I’m only just hung over,
I’m getting rid of it before!”
Which somehow didn’t reassure
A single soul anymore.

Bridge
The gate agent said,
“If you’re sick, you cannot fly.”
She said, “I’m fine! I’m hung over!”
Like that settled the reply.
Then somehow she got onboard,
And every passenger prayed:
“Dear Lord, I don’t ask much of You—
Just don’t put her by my seat!”

Chorus
Fifty-seven dollars round trip!
And the floor show came for free!
A pink-blanket production
At the Frontier gate in Concourse B.
Pennsylvania was the reason,
But Atlanta stole the night—
Fifty-seven dollars bought Kim
One unforgettable flight!

Verse 5
She boarded with the others,
And the cabin held its breath,
Everybody checking seat numbers
Like a lottery of death.
But before they left Atlanta,
The authorities appeared,
And escorted Pink Blanket off—
And half the airplane cheered.

Final Chorus
Fifty-seven dollars round trip!
Now THAT’S a travel deal!
Coffee, drama, pink pajamas,
And a Technicolor meal.
She went north for a getaway,
But got the show before the flight—
For fifty-seven dollars, Kim,
You got your money’s worth that night!

Outro
So here’s to cheap air travel,
Where every fare’s a surprise—
Pack your bag, grab your Starbucks,
And don’t believe your eyes.

Fifty-seven dollars round trip…

The vomit show was complimentary.