Georgia Gubernatorial

Gubernatorial

Verse 1
We got mayoral, elect us a mayor,
Congressional sends somebody up there,
Senatorial, presidential too,
At least those words tell you what they’re gonna do.

Then every few years there’s a word we all hear,
Gets louder and louder as November draws near:
Goobernatorial! Lord, what a beaut—
Sounds less like an election and more like a fruit.

Chorus
We elect a guber, a big ol’ guber,
In a goobernatorial race.
Six months of TV tellin’ tales on each other,
With a serious look on their face.
She’s too far left! He’s too far right!
Both of ’em gonna ruin your life!
By Election Day we’ve heard enough manure—
But somehow, we elect a guber.

Verse 2
You’re watchin’ the weather, just checkin’ for rain,
Here comes a voice full of doom and disdain:
“Candidate Rick will destroy this state!”
With a black-and-white picture from 1988.

Then before you can reach for the remote in your hand,
Here comes Rick with a counterattack planned:
“Candidate Keisha hates puppies and farms!”
Cue the thunder, dark clouds and alarms.

Chorus
We elect a guber, a big ol’ guber,
In a goobernatorial race.
Every commercial says the other one’s evil,
With a flag and a barn in the background someplace.

Crooked! Radical! Dangerous too!
They got three scary words and they use all three on you.
Truth gets stretched till it needs a suture—
That’s how we elect a guber.

Verse 3
Now a goober’s a peanut, everybody knows,
Grows underground in neat little rows.
But a guber grows best on your television set,
Watered with money and political threat.

A goober gets roasted, salted just right,
A guber gets airtime morning and night.
One makes a snack, one makes you holler—
And both get expensive by the pound or the dollar.

Bridge / Spoken
Mayoral. Congressional.
Senatorial. Presidential.
All pretty clear, all pretty logical…

Then down South we got—

GOOBERNATORIAL!

“What are we electin’?”
“A governor.”
“Then why call it goobernatorial?”
“Well… I reckon we’re electin’ a guber.”

Final Chorus
We elect a guber, a big ol’ guber,
In a goobernatorial race.
Six months of TV tellin’ tales on each other—
Till we’re sick of everybody’s face.

Turn off the TV, grab a beer from the cooler—
Tomorrow we’ll go vote…

AND ELECT US A GUBER!