Pamilco Sound, NC

Oh SHIT! — The Pamlico Sound Song

[Intro – cheerful acoustic guitar, little fishing-show whistle]

Eight in the morning,
Pamlico Sound,
White boat floating,
Not a cloud around.
Coffee and biscuits,
Sun coming up,
Three happy fishermen—
And one nervous gut.

[Verse 1]

Debbie, her husband,
Her brother too,
Headed out fishing
On the Carolina blue.
Clear sunny morning,
Water like glass,
But ninety-eight percent humidity—
And a powerful case of swamp ass.

[Verse 2]

They baited the hooks,
They cast ’em out,
Talked about family,
Flounder and trout.
The boat started rocking,
The coffee kicked in,
And Debbie got quiet
With a worried little grin.

[Pre-Chorus]

She crossed her legs.
She squeezed ’em tight.
She stared toward shore—
But shore wasn’t in sight.

She whispered,
“Nature is calling…”

Her brother said,
“Well…

I got a bucket.”

[Chorus]

OH SHIT!
On the Pamlico Sound!
Everybody turn your damn heads around!
Blue sky above her,
Salt water below,
When a woman’s gotta go—
A woman’s gotta go!

OH SHIT!
Lord have mercy on me,
No bathroom for miles
On the open sea.
They caught fish all morning,
But everybody knew—
The biggest deposit
Was number two!

[Verse 3]

Her husband faced east,
Her brother faced west,
Debbie grabbed the bucket
And hoped for the best.
No privacy curtain,
No restroom stall,
Just God, three seagulls,
And apparently all y’all.

The boat gave a wobble.
Debbie yelled, “DON’T MOVE!”
Her brother started laughing,
Her husband hummed a tune.
Somewhere in the distance
A pelican flew—

And Debbie made history
In a five-gallon loo.

[Chorus]

OH SHIT!
On the Pamlico Sound!
Everybody keep your eyes on the water, not down!
Sunshine sparkling,
Fish jumping too,
While Debbie sat proudly
On her Home Depot loo.

OH SHIT!
What a beautiful day!
Coffee and biscuits
Will make you pay.
They caught fish by the dozen,
And before they were through—
They had one toothy fish…

And one in the bucket too.

[Bridge – music drops down]

Now fishermen brag
About everything caught—
How hard it was fighting,
How long they fought.

There was one with teeth
That gave them a thrill…

And another kind of monster
Sitting perfectly still.

[Spoken]

Her brother said,
“Debbie…

You gonna throw that one back?”

[Music stops]

Debbie said—

“OH, SHIT!”

[Final Chorus – huge, ridiculous singalong]

OH SHIT!
On the Pamlico Sound!
Best fishing story
In the whole damn town!
Clear sunny morning,
Not a worry in view,
Till the coffee met the biscuit
And the biscuit went through!

OH SHIT!
Raise your fishing cup!
Some catches go home—
Some catches get dumped!
They’ll remember that morning
Till they’re ninety-two:

The toothy one on the line…

And the one Debbie
DROPPED IN THE LOO!

[Outro – cheerful whistle returns]

Pamlico Sound…
Beautiful view…

Catch and release, Debbie.

Catch…

and release.