Teaching old dogs new tricks

Lyrics

Teaching old dogs new tricks

Verse 1
Rizzie’s fourteen years old now,
Black and tan and moving slow.
Eyes don’t see like they once did,
Ears hear what they want to know.
Back legs stiff when morning comes,
Most the day she sleeps away,
But somewhere round the middle of the night,
That old hound begins her day.

Verse 2
First she’d grunt beside the bed,
Usually Richard’s side.
He’d get up and open the door,
She’d step out and stand outside.
Wouldn’t even leave the porch,
Just stare off into the dark,
Till an armadillo crossed the yard—
Then Lord, she’d find her bark.

Chorus
Teaching old dogs new tricks,
That’s what we thought we’d do.
Turns out that old coonhound
Has been training me and you.
A grunt, a nose, a midnight bark,
She knows what gets us moving quick.
So tell me, who’s the old dog
Teaching old dogs new tricks?

Verse 3
When the grunting took too long,
She improved her little plan.
Cold wet nose against your face,
Or shove it underneath your hand.
That got faster service,
So naturally she raised the stakes.
Now one yelp from down the hallway
Gets two old men wide awake.

Verse 4
Sometimes all she really wants
Is an escort down the hall,
Walk her to the kitchen water,
Like she can’t get there at all.
We say, “Rizzie, go to bed,”
In our firmest grown-up voice.
Sometimes she looks and wanders off.
Sometimes she makes another choice.

Chorus
Teaching old dogs new tricks,
That’s what we thought we’d do.
Turns out that old coonhound
Has been training me and you.
A grunt, a nose, a midnight bark,
She knows what gets us moving quick.
So tell me, who’s the old dog
Teaching old dogs new tricks?

Bridge
And then some creature moves outside,
And fourteen years are gone.
Those stiff old legs remember
How a coonhound carries on.
She’s barking at the darkness,
Like the young dog that we knew.
And standing there half laughing,
We’re fourteen years younger too.

Final Verse
Someday we’ll miss those midnight calls,
That cold nose by the bed.
The porch light glowing at two A.M.,
And every word we said.
So we get up when Rizzie calls.
We know who runs this place.
She taught these old dogs one more trick—
Get up when she says.

Final Chorus
Teaching old dogs new tricks,
Turns out she’s mighty slick.
Fourteen years of studying us,
She knows exactly what will click.
A grunt, a nose, one well-timed bark,
And both of us move pretty quick.
Yeah, Rizzie’s still the teacher
Teaching old dogs new tricks.